I am taking things in my own hands now where love is concern because of what happen to me a few yrs back before I got my husband death papers and learned that men say the damest things just to get what they want or even not what they want.
I had four men ask me to marry them and two I came right out and said no way until I knew if my husband was alive or dead. The other two just showed up and wanted someone to take care of them and one keeps asking me to the point I just am letting my phone ring as we were only friends and that was all. The other man wanted me for myself and would not have made any changes but he was over ruled by persons here who think they know this and that and know shit from my point of view. they just want him for his car and to go places. We just want to be together so we could play some board games and go some places together like church or moose or to a park. I think like others do we would do go together and things would work out find.
The other two had a personal problem dealing with one another before I ever came unto the scene. So one of them dislike the other one really bad. However I happen to have fallen in love by some fate to the second person who had a son and a daughter and now a granddaughter. We did has friends go fishing, camping and even out to places I had never been before. We enjoyed one another time spent together and even I learned some board games and learned where to get some games on my pc. I learned where some winery were located and we took his son to the fairs and for rides while he was home. We had talked about marriage or living together and I was helping him do up his son room and would of helped him do up the other bedroom for a room I could use to do sewing and hobbies in and I would of helped him fixed up the master bedroom and the kitchen and living room but we kind of took a turn in the road when he and I parted temp. and stayed friends.
the other person was also fun to be with at first but he must of wore out fast where being with a woman was concern because he slept alot and it got worst as time went on even when he tried to stay up and tried to do things. He was also hurting a lot and stopped taking some of his amish friends places which he should of never done as they trusted him plus he was happier when he was doing things for them and was up and about. We were all there for him until he started playing his games and than being not well all the time. Even now they don,t understand why he won,t do things for them so he could get out of whatever he is feeling and be back to doing things. He is no old man but now acts like one and even if he is in good health he complains.He had said something about marriage to me also but that was all the further it went and I don,t say much anymore where that is concern with him as I know how he is like and I don,t think this would of worked for eithor of us then or now after all that has happen in his life and than in mind.
Its just what love can be fickle with no one actually knowing the outcome.
These last four years have taught me about fickle love and how things turn out quiet different than it was planned. How one can have joy and blessings in one life for a yr or more and than it takes a black side to outer space on a handbar. How one can than have a blank life and lose all the love or what ever it is called to a backseat waiting to see what will happen next around the bend. It was also a learning point about writing adds for a man and than a yr. later having some one think the same things in the add means what was said while life changes and so do people and the add was a yr. older or more so it also is no longer good. This year as been one of those backseat ones where one waits and see what is going to happen if anything.
I am thinking about making some things happen come sept. of going to see my one friend that I care about rather anyone cares or not. I am not going to seat around and wait for something to happen if I want it to take place. I have a few other friends I want to see and I will be doing so very soon, once this heat takes it way out of here. I just can not take the humid weather and will be glad for it to take its hike back to hell.
I believe this fall I will start going back to the lion club meets and may just join one in this neck of the woods. I may also go to some moose meetings or go and eat there once and a while. I may show up at some of the american legion affairs and who knows meet some nice folks or find a man for myself. I may just take a leap and go to the VFW in newport this year when they have there doings even if it is alone.
Finally I made a few friends here and a friend of my lady friend that lives here. He is a nice person who enjoys joking and just hanging out with folks. Between the two of them I will learn to take things in the right way and learn when to joke and when to just be among people my own age and get along. If I can learn from them both I will enjoy my life and be a happier person so it is worth trying and doing as they do. I want to laugh and joke and just be happy again something I have not done since back in the mid eighties.
I am trying to just be myself and let the rest work itself out in the right way. No way am I ready to jump back into the frying pan and be burnt again. Yet love is fickle and who is to say what can happen, what will happen or may happen. Take care and love you all. God Bless each of you